When We Can’t Choose the Crosses We Must Bear

“To be really great in little things, to be truly noble and heroic in the insipid details of everyday life, is a virtue so rare as to be worthy of canonization.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe

“We rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope: and hope doesn’t disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts…” — Romans 5:2–5, WEBBE

It is said that in order to follow Christ, we must take up our own cross. If Jesus suffered, then we must suffer, too. If He has shown self-sacrifice as the way to love, then we must also learn how to make that sacrifice.

I must admit, however, that those words seem more beautiful and glorious to me when they’re far away, when they’re only theories I need to hear, not when painful and actual suffering happens to me or to my loved ones. I must admit also that many times, the sacrifice that I imagine is not the same sacrifice that He requires of me.

In my mind, I sacrifice the big things, things that seem worth the hurt and all the troubles they’ve caused me. In my mind, I sacrifice in a way that would make my story seem grand, something I can take pride of, like heroine in a movie that everyone ones to imitate and put on a pedestal.

But the sufferings sent to me often seem more trivial and more difficult at the same time. In other words, they’re not the ones I prefer to bear. Quite often, they seem insignificant but troublesome. What I mean to say is that they cause me much trouble though it may not appear to be so for other people. To others, it may not even look like I’m suffering much. What they don’t know is that I struggle really hard not to give in to despair in the face of such difficulties. In some ways, I couldn’t even boast of such troubles because it’s even a shame to mention them.

When I come to think of it, those troubles humble me. For if such things already bring me near despair, how much more if I were brought to the bigger trials I have imagined?

During such times, I remember the people that Moses brought out of Egypt. I wasn’t able to relate to their complaints before, but now I say that I could somehow understand. I could have easily been one of them. Had they not complained about food when they were already provided with manna every day from heaven? Had they not shown despair when they have just been showed great miracles such as the parting of the sea?

Though God has provided for all their needs, they couldn’t help but think about all the food they used to eat in Egypt. They thought about the meat and the onions they used to eat. For them, it has become unbearable to eat the manna God sends them each day.

There are indeed some things that seem insignificant but that tests the steadfastness of our faith. We may think that we can withstand outright martyrdom and the offering of our lives even by a firing squad, but we may not last long living what seems to be a boring and insignificant existence with all the inconveniences and trials of daily life.

Whenever we are faced with such trials, may we turn to God in prayer instead of giving in to despair. May we seek His assistance in our weakness, His grace in our darkness. We may not understand the way God is treating us, but may we never stop trusting His mercy and His love.

“Have not many of us, in the weary way of life, felt, in some hours, how far easier it were to die than to live?

The martyr, when faced even by a death of bodily anguish and horror, finds in the very terror of his doom a strong stimulant and tonic. There is a vivid excitement, a thrill and fervor, which may carry through any crisis of suffering that is the birth-hour of eternal glory and rest.

But to live, to wear on, day after day, of mean, bitter, low, harassing servitude, every nerve dampened and depressed, every power of feeling gradually smothered, this long and wasting heart-martyrdom, this slow, daily bleeding away of the inward life, drop by drop, hour after hour, this is the true searching test of what there may be in man or woman.”

? Harriet Beecher Stowe

“Therefore, that I might not become too elated, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I begged the Lord about this, that it might leave me, but he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.” — 2 Corinthians 12:7–10, NABRE