I Take Off the Mask

We can search for hope in the strongest of places, and in the best of people, and they shall fall one by one. Only God suffices. Only God.

Years of roaming and all that I possess is a pen and a piece of parchment. Behold, however! This pen is the sword with which I shall champion my cause; and by this parchment the world shall know of faith that overcomes!

As we close our eyes and clasp our hands in prayer, as we lay bare our deepest sorrow and our highest praise, as we move from our anguish and brokenness, and enter the solemnity of God’s Divine Presence, I don’t think we differ ever so greatly. I don’t think we pray ever so differently.

Und Gott sprach: Es werde licht! And God said, let there be light!

Why must old wounds be opened up to inflict me with pain I thought I’ve long gone over with? In anger, I’ve asked this of God, and in shame I’ve learned that there are still inner wounds, deeper wounds that need to be sought and healed.

For what kind of man could ever find it so easy to let another one touch his very being at its weakest? Man would defend his wounds as he would defend his life. To trust is to be vulnerable, and to be vulnerable is to die. And few would ever risk dying in order to find new life.

If I can only embrace each wounded person as God has embraced me, I would do so. But my strength is not enough, and my heart is not big enough to bear all their sorrows. I can only be a friend to some, a soothing light to few, and hope that by God’s Grace, I can at least comfort one grieving soul in my lifetime.

I saw a world crying out so badly for redemption. And then I saw towering temples and halls whose cold walls could only utter judgment and condemnation.

I tried to seek the cause of my discontent, and I discovered that the darkness that covers the world comes from the numbness of so many shattered souls whose hidden griefs could not bear to see the light.

It is so unfortunate that the world’s beauty should only be as great as its misery.

Sometimes I feel, as though we’re all just shouting in the dark. We pretend to be strong and so we scream, but everyone’s screaming and no one’s listening, so despite our loud voices, we end up all alone. Tell me when could we come home? When do we feel that we have been heard? Ah, perhaps when silence fills the air and we all grew tired of shouting. Perhaps when we allow our saddest tears to fall, and someone catches them all. Someone who hears the song of our souls.

It’s so sad to lose our shared memories. It’s like losing a part of ourselves, especially when we want to travel back to those moments, but there is no one to go with us anymore. It is lonely, so sometimes, I try to think about eternity and how the past, present and future can exist together. When I enter eternity, I am no longer alone. “Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” — Henry Van Dyke

  Have you ever felt so sleepy, and all you ever wanted to do is lie down in bed for as long as you feel like resting? Times like that you don’t worry about what deadlines loom closely before you. Times like that and the world goes by as it does and you find out its okay to be left behind from the rat race that never seems to end. Times like that and you find silence. You find peace. You find what you’ve always wanted to have. Sometimes all is quiet And all is peace, And there is nothing much to say In the rustling of the leaves; A child sleeps, And a bird flaps its little wings; And there is nothing much to say In the rustling of the leaves.

Herein lies my hope: That for every flower that withers, another one blooms within me, one that will remain forever fragrant and fresh, never ever to pass away.

Who can blame me when I sought to dispose of the thorns that kept me from being accepted and loved? Who can blame me from wearing the mask I wore so I can hide my uniqueness from the world that only knows one face, one virtue, one barren sky?

Have you ever had those days when you felt as though something was missing but you just couldn’t figure out what it was? It’s as though there’s a certain emptiness inside of you, something almost similar to pain, but you can’t even pinpoint where it’s coming from. So you shrug it off and start your day. You grab your coffee to perk you up and you go to work. Along the way, you see people also going along with their lives. Some look cheerful and happily talking to someone on their mobile phones. Others look almost angry. It’s as though they already carry the burden of the whole world that early in the day. But there are some whose eyes look quite familiar. No, it’s not that you knew them personally. But somehow, you pick up a similar vibe from them. It’s almost as if you can understand each other telepathically. “I know how you feel. But we both don’t have the words to say what we’re going through.” Of all creatures, human beings are unique. This is because it isn’t enough for us to sim...

There was a time that I cursed the curse that lay upon my veins. Wild spirit chained Flaming fire quenched over and over ’til it can consume no more ’til it can arise no more with passions that blaze within my soul… I’ve cursed my curse and then I realized – I’ve also cursed my gift.

It’s Friday at last. Kinda late for work though. Couldn’t help but enjoy the last few minutes out of bed, those first wonderful moments of the day. Oh, what a sweet morning! And the night’s deep slumber really refreshed me from yesterday’s ordeal at work, haha. Even superheroes need to work after all, don’t they?

A bougainvilla petal has fallen at the back window of the cab I rode this morning. The sight was so simple, even ordinary. But there was something in the delicate freshness of the petal that couldn’t help but delight me. There is joy in the little things, even in a fallen petal.

I looked at the world and beheld its beauty as though I was seeing it for the first time. O, blessed be me for such unsolicited inspiration! Beauty is in things common and yet it is ever rare.

Every parting has its own sorrow, even that of parting with a once treasured possession that has long lost its usefulness. And so in sorrow do I say farewell to my own that is not truly mine. Farewell to the mask and greetings to the heart, spirit and flesh that has long been concealed underneath its shadows.

If I had two hearts, do not fear, my love… For I would never make you cry. If you think I’d use them, to break your heart, have faith that I won’t even try. I won’t run away to use that heart, to love another man, Why must I leave for that heart to beat, when I’ve already found someone? If I had two hearts, do not fear, my love… For I will use both in loving you. May these two hearts be ever yours… May it beat as one with love so true! Jocelyn Soriano  wrote the books  “Poems of Love and Letting Go”  and  “Of Wave and Butterflies: Poems on Grief”. Buy the book from Amazon Buy the book from other digital stores

This is that time when anything you say can be held against you. It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from. It doesn’t matter whether you were fully aware of the weight of your words. And it doesn’t matter whether you were sick or writhing in pain when you said it. People will form their conclusion about you. They will feed their anger and their fear and blame it all on you. And they will do these things without even asking your side of the story. Why ask when they want to satisfy their wrath? Why shatter their prejudices when they are blinded by their self-righteousness? People will throw stones at you as though you were the most evil person in the world. They won’t care because they don’t care. If they did, they would have given you at least the benefit of the doubt. But in the name of justice, they do what is most unjust. In the name of truth, they believed in lies. They disguise themselves as lambs when they are wolves ready to devour anyone ...

Grief is a blanket I have learned to love Though I must admit, it used to be so rough I could hardly bear touching it. Grief is a blanket I have learned to love, Though I must admit that the mere thought of it caused my tears to fall. And I gave it all just to get rid of it, ’cause it would rub against my skin, and I’d lay down with wounds all over me. But grief is a blanket I have learned to love… It protected me when I felt cold, and O, how I felt so cold! I’d rather be scratched by its edges, I’d rather bear its heavy burden, than to lay down empty and heartless, unable to feel the tears flowing from my eyes. Grief is rough and grief is heavy, but it’s something I’d carry to cover me with warmth. Jocelyn Soriano wrote the books In Your Hour of Grief and Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief. Buy it from Amazon Buy it from other digital stores Get it from Gumroad

Love speaks, but love is also silent. Silent enough to listen, when you hurt through and through, Silent enough to hold you, silent enough to kiss you, silent enough to stay, just when you need it most. Because love is silent… It does not yell nor scream, but listens to your deepest dreams. In times of darkness, it is there, allowing your heart to rest, and it does it best, to give you space and time. O, how we need its silence, when we are guilty and ashamed, and we know we are to blame, but instead of reprimands, love is silent and understands. And without speaking a word, it consoles your heart and soul. In compassion and in trust, it raises you when you feel small. And it gives it all, in the silence of love you are cherished, In the silence of love you are seen, There is no need to run away, or hide or turn around, Love remains though love is silent, and it will never let you down. Jocelyn Soriano  wrote the books  “Poems of Love and Letting Go”  and  “Of Wave and Butterflies: Poe...

Stay with me, Hold my trembling hands! And with my failing strength, I’d give you all my thanks. The night is dark, and morning seems so long, How could I carry on unless someone comes along? In the land of shadows, where I walked, I forgot all my hopes ’til I heard a song. I heard your voice from far away And hope returned when I saw your face. Why did I ever wander far, when I have all right where you are? Jocelyn Soriano  wrote the books  “Poems of Love and Letting Go”  and  “Of Wave and Butterflies: Poems on Grief”. Buy the book from Amazon Buy the book from other digital stores

Do not cast my ashes into the sea nor leave them near a tree, Lest you believe that I am there… These ashes came from me, but they’re not me. Do not carry my ashes as though I could not move at all, for I did not become that small. Death never had me whole, for I have my immortal soul. Do not hope that I be carried by the wind, for I will not come as dust that hurt your eyes. I have not vanished when I died, but I live still and I am here, I’ll always stay right by your side. Jocelyn Soriano wrote the books In Your Hour of Grief and Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief. Buy it from Amazon Buy it from other digital stores Get it from Gumroad

I took some lessons and I’ve learned that grief is something you do all over again like walking the path you once walked together, or eating that pie that made him smile. Grief is waking up each day, and missing him all over again, remembering when you had him by your side. It is sleeping at night and trying not to cry but then end up sleeping with tears in your eyes. Grief is going back to that very time, when I could have said goodbye but did not mind. It’s wondering how anything could have changed if only I begged him to kiss me goodnight. They say time will heal and the heart will mend, but I have learned from my lessons that grief is love that never ends. You may try to move on and you may try to forget, but grief is something you do all over again. Jocelyn Soriano writes about relationships and the Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer . She wrote the books In Your Hour of Grief and Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief. Buy it from Amazon Buy it from other digital stores...

And when I go far away, Don’t look for me in the stars. Don’t go out looking at night, for you won’t find in them my eyes. When I go far away, Don’t look for me in the snow, Don’t go out looking when winter comes, For my love for you, they can never show. When I go far away, I won’t tell you to wait. But if you can have faith, Hear what I’m going to say: I will return one day, when the snow is falling on a starlit night… I will be back to see you, and hold you tight! And it’ll be alright. You can forget me while I’m gone, But you can also choose to remember, our forever. And when that day comes, it’s as though I was never gone. You can look into my eyes and see how I kept you in my soul, You can reach out for my hands and feel how love has kept me strong, even when all that was left of me, were unseen shadows that walked upon the snow. You may also want to read: Of Waves and Butterflies: Poems on Grief (buy the book on Amazon and other digital stores) Buy the book on Amazon Get it from...

Grief is an inevitable part of the human experience, a poignant reminder of our capacity to love deeply and to feel profound loss. Whether it stems from the death of a loved one, the end of a significant relationship, or any other form of loss, grief can feel all-encompassing, leaving us in a state of profound sadness and despair. Yet, within the depths of grief lies the potential for growth, resilience, and the rediscovery of joy and purpose. When we experience loss, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by grief’s heavy weight. The pain may seem insurmountable, and the future bleak and uncertain. However, as time passes and we journey through the grieving process, we begin to find glimmers of light amidst the darkness. These moments of hope may be fleeting at first, but they serve as reminders that healing is possible, and that joy can coexist with sorrow. One of the most profound aspects of grief is its ability to reshape our perspective on life. In the midst of loss, we are f...