I Take Off the Mask

It’s Friday at last. Kinda late for work though. Couldn’t help but enjoy the last few minutes out of bed, those first wonderful moments of the day. Oh, what a sweet morning! And the night’s deep slumber really refreshed me from yesterday’s ordeal at work, haha. Even superheroes need to work after all, don’t they?

A bougainvilla petal has fallen at the back window of the cab I rode this morning. The sight was so simple, even ordinary. But there was something in the delicate freshness of the petal that couldn’t help but delight me. There is joy in the little things, even in a fallen petal.

I think one of the most difficult burdens a single person can have is the feeling that one has never been called or chosen.  Do I even have a vocation? When you try to search over the internet, you’d find various answers to this question.  Some would say that being single is a vocation just like being married or being a religious. But many sites I have visited bluntly say that being single should never be considered as such and there is no such thing. No matter what reason may have been given by those who say that being single is not a vocation, the effect is the same.  It is painful to hear and to be told again and again. If God did not call me to be single, where did I go wrong? Should I have been a married person or a religious had I only obeyed God’s calling? And if I have not been called that way, why wasn’t I called by God?  What does He want me to do with my life? It is this feeling that I am in a wrong state in life, somewhere I shouldn’t be.  That feeling that while all the ot...

There was a time when I received one of the most serendipitous gifts on my birthday. It’s a customized notebook from my sister where one of my own quotes had been inscribed on the cover. This is the quote that’s complete with an attribution to my name: “Don’t give up now. For all you know, your dreams are just about to come true!” – Jocelyn Soriano It was a very timely message that I needed to read. And I couldn’t help but be struck with the awesomeness of it all. It was something I had written long ago, and it came back to me right when I needed to remember it most. Have you ever experienced something like that? Something like a happy coincidence just when you thought you’ve given up all hope? What do you do when you feel like giving up? Mother Angelica had this very amazing quote. She said, “I am not afraid to fail, I am scared to death of dying and having the Lord say to me. ‘Angelica, this is what you might have done had you trust me more’.” Maybe one of the...

All my life, I’ve felt that I had always been searching for the beautiful and the good. I wanted to find it in this world I’m living in. I wanted to find it in myself. I wanted to find it in other people. Whenever I had a glimpse of it, I feel that my life becomes meaningful. Somehow, I feel that the beauty and the goodness I see transfer a little bit of their substance in me, and I, too, become beautiful and good. It’s like looking at a magnificent sunrise and being showered by its warmth. A warmth that warms not only one’s body but also one’s heart and soul. In that small space of time, as I gaze upon the rising sun, I absorb some of its light, and some of its magnificence. I, too, become a little sun that’s filled with warmth and with light. Oh, that I may also absorb the beauty of Him whose beauty and whose light is beyond measure. May I not neglect those moments of prayer when I become immersed in His goodness and His goodness somehow makes its way upon my soul. “Late have I loved...

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay “The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quite alone with the heavens, nature and God.” – Ann Frank I was just browsing the internet this morning when I thought I smelled something like newly cut grass. Since I was in my room, I felt I may have just imagined things. It’s been a long time since I was able to freely go out. The pandemic has somewhat confined me indoors. Whether it was just my imagination or whether the smell of grass has somewhat found its way to my room, I’m still grateful. That smell has reminded me of those times I was walking along the park with loved ones, when I was free to move and run and breathe without fear of being sick or infected with a virus. That smell has reminded me of all those wonderful times I was able to travel to faraway places, enjoying the company of friends. It’s amazing what gifts the little things could bring us. Someti...

Image by congerdesign from Pixabay Just this once, write with complete abandon. Write as though you don’t need to earn a living. Write, write and write. Write with all of your heart. Write with everything that you have. Just this once, write without fear. Write as though you have the courage to face anyone who’d ever dare to criticize your work. Write with passion and conviction. Write and say everything you want to say. Just this once, write without limits. Write from another world, a world no one may ever believe in but those who can understand where you’re coming from. Write beyond the expectation of others. Write what you may otherwise consider as insignificant or crazy or too extravagant for you. Just this once, write in darkness. Write without knowing where your writing would be taking you. Write as you face that mysterious door into the unknown. Write with your shadows and with your doubts. Just this once, write with light. Write with such an inspired spirit that others can’t he...

“Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind, is written large in his works.” — Virginia Woolf If I were to be asked again what it is I’d like to do, I’d answer that I still want to write. O, there are so many things I’d like to share, so many things I’d like to write about. People usually say I’m the quiet type of person, and perhaps it’s because they don’t see me talking so much. In reality, I want to say so many things, things I couldn’t all put into words. I can’t say them all. That’s why I write them. I write about feelings and thoughts I wanted to process. I write about hurts that have been healed and dreams that came true. I write about the people and things I care about. I write about my most valuable beliefs. When I write, I want to share something important with others. I want to let them feel the happiness I felt and the peace that I have found. I want my readers to know t...

I once went to a place in Guimaras, a beautiful island in the Philippines. I’ve been to many places, but in that place, there was a different kind of silence…a silence you could almost hear. Perhaps it’s because of the lack of electricity in the area. Perhaps it’s the absence of internet connections. But in that place, silence is more than the absence of sound. It was a kind of silence you can feel, a silence whose presence touches you and changes you. It as that kind that I could never forget. Here is an actual excerpt from my diary: At Himala, Barangay Sibunag, we witnessed a spectacular sunset. (I was glad we captured it on film). I was glad I didn’t miss the silhouette of the tree set apart from the rest, somewhat bowing to the left with branches surrendering to the glaring orange sky. Indeed, the peace of the place, especially upon arriving at Barangay Sebaste was striking. No loud stereos, no television sets?—?just the soft rusting of leaves and the sweet chirping of birds now an...

It’s been a year since the pandemic forced everyone out of normalcy.  Many people have been hit hard, some losing their source of income, and some losing the very ones they love. When I think about what I have left compared to others around me, I can’t help but feel I’ve been spared of difficulties I couldn’t even begin to imagine. It doesn’t mean, however, that my heart doesn’t ache for all the things I’ve lost.  I know that only God’s grace has kept me from being crippled by anxiety. It is only God’s grace that has allowed me to carry on. My life is simple.  I’m not rich enough to enjoy the luxuries of always going out of the country. I don’t socialize much either, and so I won’t be missing parties or concerts or other events that other people do. Yet in my own life, there are some things I miss. I miss the freedom to go out of the house whenever I want to.  Not that I’d get very far. But that I know I could at least visit my favorite bookstore or simply go to Church and light a cand...

Only God can make you truly happy. Even the best of people will fail you. Don’t expect people to be like God. Forgive yourself and get up quickly after each fall. Let not your mistake bring you to despair, but towards the path of humility. Things will not always happen as planned, learn to be resilient. Do your best and let God’s beautiful plan for you unfold in His time. Worry is useless. We can never know what will happen next. Even if your worry comes true, remember that your worry never helped you at all. It just took away your joy for the present and robbed you of the time you could have spent better. You spend time better when you do things out of love rather than out of fear. It is useless trying to please people. Most people won’t be pleased anyway, and no one who has only lived for the approval of others has ever been pleased with oneself. Please God and you will discover also what will satisfy your soul. Evil may seem to triumph for a while, but it is Light that will always t...

I’ve always considered writing to be a gift. It’s a gift that allows me to connect to the world and to express myself. Being an introvert, I consider these things to be very important to me. Later, I have also realized that although writing is part of my mission in life, I should not treat it as an obligation. Neither should regard it as a right I should be entitled to. More than anything, I see it now as a God-given privilege. Even if I don’t earn much from it, and even if I don’t get famous for it, it is a wonderful privilege to write. When I consider writing as a privilege, I remember its essence as a gift. A gift is something to be grateful for and and something to be taken care of with joy.