O God, I am ashamed even if only to call upon your name. How can I even whisper your Holy Name? How can I even lift my eyes towards heaven? I am a sinner. And I have greatly displeased you. I have defiled my own body, the sacred temple I should have kept holy and taken care of with the highest honor and respect. I have failed you so much and so greatly. I have failed the only One who has ever loved me.
You know how I've yearned for your presence for so long. I have yearned for your forgiveness and your healing. Yet I couldn't come to you. I didn't feel I belong anywhere before you, anywhere near your sacred place. Today however, I chanced upon an open door of your house, and I just couldn't resist coming in. Strange as it may, I felt a very warm welcome here, the last place I thought would let me in. O thank you God! Yours is a merciful and gracious heart indeed that bears with lowly sinners like me. You could have just cast me out. You could have easily judged me and condemned me. You could have rightly done so, but you didn't. You welcomed me as though I still had dignity. And for the first time for so long a time, I felt like a woman again, a person who can speak her mind and be listened to, a person who can be forgiven, who can be cleansed and given another chance.
O please help me God. I don't know what I can do to make amends for my many sins. But I am here Lord, command me and I will follow you. I will do anything you ask. All I desire is to be able to kneel before you, cleansed and forgiven that I may be worthy to serve you. Let me speak of your goodness. Let me speak of your mercy and unfailing love. For I came here a sinner worthy only to be punished, but you embraced me in warmth and in love, clothing me with dignity and taking away all the shame that I have carried for so long.
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"The world breaks everyone and afterwards many are strong at the broken places." - ERNEST HEMINGWAY
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