I had a very strange dream when I was a teenager. I dreamt that as I rose from bed, I saw my own body still lying down and asleep! I then remembered some thoughts about souls departing from their physical bodies at the moment of death, and that’s when I got a bit afraid.  I tried to return to my body but I couldn’t, and so I prayed to God to help me live because I still have so many things to do in my life.  Like a miracle indeed, I was able to wake up again.

So many things have happened since that day, and somehow, I believe I was able to accomplish much.  There had been some rough times for sure, but looking back now, it has been a blessed life.

I couldn’t help but think what would happen if I happen to have the same dream again.  Would I still want to come back? What would make me desire to continue living on earth?

I then thought about the things that help people to stay alive despite of all the difficulties they encounter in life.  What are some of the things that keep people from wanting to die?

1. The Fear Of The Unknown

Some people don’t really prefer to live.  They’re just afraid to die!  This life then is better because at least, we already know what this life is like.  No matter how miserable we are, we’ve learned to cope.  What happens in the next life is a whole new story and we’re just afraid of it because we don’t know anything about it at all.

2. Unfinished Business and Responsibilities

Some people have a very strong urge to survive not for their own benefit but in order to fulfill their current obligations.  Some may deem their work very important because what they do there could affect a lot of people.  Some may regard their children as their reason for living.  They just can’t let go yet until they see them grow up and happily settled in their own lives.

Others still have certain unfinished concerns that are not so positive.  This could include things they wish to do out of envy, jealousy or anger.  Thus for some people, it’s only the thought of taking vengeance that gives meaning to their very existence.  Take that away and they see no more reason to live.

3. Enjoyment of Material Things

Some people don’t care about any other kind of existence but the one we have right now with our physical bodies.  They enjoy the things that satisfy the senses and couldn’t imagine or hope for anything more.

What If You No Longer Have The Same Reasons?

There comes a time when some people could no longer fall within the 3 broad categories mentioned earlier.  What if the enjoyment of material things no longer satisfies you?  What if you’ve already met your responsibilities and been freed from all your obligations?  And what if you’re no longer afraid of death because you now have a firm faith of what awaits you in the next life?  What would give you the strength to go on and live?

I guess St. Paul had the same dilemma back then:

For what is life? To me, it is Christ. Death, then, will bring more. But if by continuing to live I can do more worthwhile work, then I am not sure which I should choose. I am pulled in two directions. I want very much to leave this life and be with Christ, which is a far better thing; but for your sake it is much more important that I remain alive. I am sure of this, and so I know that I will stay. I will stay on with you all, to add to your progress and joy in the faith, so that when I am with you again, you will have even more reason to be proud of me in your life in union with Christ Jesus. - Philippians 1:21-26

There are times when death will seem sweeter, for it is after all not really death but a new birth and a new life with Jesus, our beloved, the one we love the most.  And who wouldn’t want to be with her beloved?  But if one really loves Jesus, one would also love those whom He loves.  And for His sake, she will forgo seeing Him for the time being in order to love those whom He also loves.  Love therefore is the only remaining key to life.

How about you?  Do you live your life merely out of fear? Out of duty or responsibility? Or do you live your life for the sake of LOVE?

Only love heals, and My love in you shall heal many. – Bo Sanchez, Embraced

I used to think that love is all we need in order to heal other people’s hurts. I used to think that if we could only give that love to the very best we could, we’d have the power to change other people’s lives for the better.

But why is it that after giving everything we could, we are still met with pain and frustration? Why is it that after so many years of trying to prove our love, wounds are still hurting and people remain unchanged?

Can’t love really heal our hurts?

My daughter (son), you are not yet a strong and prudent lover. Because you abandon what you have begun at every little adversity which you encounter, and too eagerly seek consolation.-Imitation of Christ

How strong must we be? How persistent must our love be? In our exhaustion, we say in defeat that our love could never be that strong enough. If the only hope for healing left is love, then it couldn’t be the kind of love that we have. Our love is not the kind of love that heals.

What then is the love that heals?

But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. - Romans 5:8

Only God’s love can. For in truth, God Himself is LOVE

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life." - John 3:16

All our greatest strivings fall short of God’s Perfect LOVE for us, a love that is sufficient unto itself and neither needs nor asks for anything in return. Who among us could love like Him unless He empowers us to do so?

God’s Unconditional Love

Have you ever wondered how only God can love us unconditionally? It’s because only God is perfect and doesn’t need anything from us

We can’t love like that. Our love, however good is still conditional. We want something in return because we are not perfect, and we try to get from others what we lack.

We expect something back, whether it be the praise of the one we love, his presence to soothe our loneliness and emptiness within, the feeling that we’re needed, the fulfilment of our childhood ideals, protection, financial security, or his characteristics that we yearn for but don’t possess such as a strong identity, childlikeness, excitement and strength.

This is the reason why Jesus told us to love God first for in truth, it is a command to allow God to love us, to be so embraced and ensured that we couldn’t ask for anything more. In that way only can we love others as God has loved us.

This kind of love is therefore not waiting for any condition or reward. This love is also not boastful, self righteous or looking down upon another person because it knows that whatever love it can give has come not from itself but from God, like the moon reflecting only the light cast upon it by the sun.

A Love That Heals

God’s perfect love is the kind of love that heals. Whether we receive it directly or through the people He chooses to help us along the way, only God’s love has the power to change us and to heal our hurts.

If we are to be channels of His love, we must stop relying upon our own strength and goodness and begin tapping unto God’s endless reserve of mercy, power and grace. Know God’s love and how different it is from the kind of love that failed us in the past.

GOD’S LOVE IS:

1. Benevolent

Benevolence is silent goodwill. It is like the sun shining on hard ground, softening the earth, melting the ice, but with no design or intention to heal. It is a state of naturalness which is why it works because the ground feels no debt to the sun. In the same way, to be on the receiving end of benevolence is to be receiving something for which there is no return. Not even a pressure to respond – which is why one does, so easily. – Inner Beauty

God’s love is just like that. GOD’S LOVE just IS. Even without our appreciation, even without our gaze. God’s love needs no permission nor recognition in order to shine through and give its warmth to all. Only He has that kind of benevolence.

There are times when we also feel as though we’ve already given so much kindness. But if we could really be benevolent in the same way, why do we feel so much pain when our partner leaves us or betrays us? Why do we hear ourselves say, “I’ve done everything for you all these years and this is how you will repay me for everything?”

It is not that we shouldn’t feel bad in any way. It’s but natural to be disappointed with infidelity and with things that break apart our love. But in our weakness, we fall into the temptation of making our partners the very center of our lives, the source of our joy, the meaning of our existence. God is not like that for He is not dependent upon His creatures for His happiness. He loves us but He is the Giver, not the one who expects from us something in return to fill Him back.

The only way we could somehow imitate such benevolence is when we’re able to connect to God. When we’re filled with His goodness, we’re able to give the same to others without expecting anything in return.

2. Strong

God’s love is so strong that even if we fail Him again and again, His love remains steadfast and unaffected by our changing desires.

His love is also strong enough to join us not only in our happiness but even in our pain. It is not afraid to see us in our weakness and our failures. It is strong enough to allow us to make mistakes, to hurt, and to learn from them. How very different indeed from our human love that expects perfection from one another. We’re afraid to feel our loved one’s pain and so we meddle with their decisions and keep them from being responsible for their own lives. We’d rather that they remain as babies who never grow up rather than risk falling as they learn to walk on their own.

3. Trustworthy

We know God has no hidden agenda and only has our highest good in mind. He never lies to us and His words can be counted upon.

How different it is with people who often lie to us and betray us, people who keep us guessing whether they really love us or only care about themselves.

For those of us who have been hurt so deeply that we find it so difficult to trust again, only God’s love heals because it may just be the only love we’d be able to TRUST for a time.

4. Respectful

God respects our freewill and does not force us to do His will even if it be far better than our desires. God is powerful but He does not manipulate us. God is everywhere but He doesn’t always reveal His presence if such will not be good for us.

With people however, we often try to control others, especially our loved ones if we have come to believe that we know the best thing for them to do. We exert upon them our authority, or even use emotional blackmail just so they would do as we want them to do even if they don’t truly believe in our plans.

We could always reason that we only intend the best for them. But could it be that we’re also depriving them to learn in their own way and time? Could it be that we’re just showing them how we can’t really trust them to run their own lives?

God knows far better than we do and could surely accomplish a lot of things on His own, but He honors us by acknowledging the strength we have and what we can do for ourselves. He doesn’t want puppets who can do His will but who can’t appreciate and believe in His wisdom.

The kind of love that heals is the kind of love that is able to respect the dignity of the person, one that is able to touch but not intrude, to help but also honor the person’s ability to help himself.

5. Wise

God’s love is filled with wisdom. It knows and does what the beloved needs, not what she wants, if what she wants wouldn’t be good for her in the long run.

We in turn may be tempted to merely please other people. We think that by always doing everything others wanted us to do, we’re already loving them. A love that heals is never blind. It sees beyond what the person asks to what a person really needs.

6. Gentle

God’s love is so gentle that it could touch us in our frailty without causing us farther harm. Other people’s love seem strong, but unless gentleness be present also in that strength, we may feel threatened or even afraid to receive it. In times when we can’t even look up and extend our arms, what we need is a quiet love that merely shelters us in our moment of need, like a tree that provides just enough shade to protect us from too much rain or sun.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

7. Infinite

God’s love is infinite. There’s always something new to discover, something fresh to surprise us and to keep us awaiting His presence. He could never bore us for there is no end to knowing Him. The more we know about His love, the more we yearn to comprehend His greatness.

One reason why many relationships fail is because people also fail to grow. If we really wish to offer the best for our loved ones, we should constantly seek to improve ourselves, to grow and to become better kinds of people from day to day.

8. Unchanging

God’s love comforts us because His love remains the same, He is as reliable now and in the future as He had been in the past.

It is true that there is always something new to discover about Him, but He does not take back what He has already revealed about Himself.

“I am the Lord, and I change not.” – Malachi 3:6

9. Beautiful

The beauty of God’s love is so alluring that it gives us joy. Can we ever find something more beautiful than His love?

The kind of love that heals is a love that is given out of the beauty of one’s heart, not out of one’s fears, guilt or emptiness.

10. Eternal

We may not be able to count the number of times we wept because the love we thought we’d always have suddenly fades. Separation, abandonment and death broke our hearts and we couldn’t understand why something so beautiful had to end.

In truth, the love that we have right now is only a taste of the greater love we’d enjoy in eternity. With God’s love, we need never be afraid anymore because His love is eternal and has no end.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39)

Such is the greatness of God’s love that has been made available to all. We may not always be able to reflect that love to others, for we are all but hazy mirrors of His love at best. In times like that, let us not feel defeated for we know God can always continue His work for the people we love in ways we could never imagine for now. Only God’s love is infinite, wise and trustworthy. His LOVE shall never fail!

“And don’t be concerned about what to eat and what to drink. Don’t worry about such things...your Father already knows your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.” – Luke 12:29-30

Sigh...if only it were that easy.  For many of us however, we see ourselves as exceptions to that – we deserve to worry, don’t we?!  After all, we’ve just been fired from our low-paying job, the rent hasn’t been paid yet, there is no food at the fridge, and our money is only enough for this week’s groceries.  How can we not worry?

^“Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds!” – Luke 12:24

But we’re not like birds, are we? We need gasoline for our cars, gas for the kitchen, insurance for our health, mortgage payments for the house, tuition for the kids, and a little extra money just in case something else goes wrong!

“Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?” – Luke 12:25-26

Well, yeah.  You’ve got a point in there.  Worrying does lead us nowhere.  But what else can we do?

Good question, isn’t it? What ELSE can we do?  Well, it seems God has given us a lot of options in there.  We can do ANYTHING we can do to help solve the situation EXCEPT to WORRY!

That’s right.  No one ever said we should do nothing.  After all, we’re not like birds, are we?  We have a far more advanced mind that can think deeper and wider, that can explore various solutions available for us.  That’s the more practical thing we SHOULD be doing.

“But what if we couldn’t think of any solution?” we ask.  Well then, if we can’t think of any, why worry?  Worry isn’t ever going to be a part of the solution anyways.  But trust can.  Faith can.  Resting in God’s wisdom and providence can.  And I believe that’s the point Jesus wanted to make.  Let us try to do everything within our powers, and then leave the rest to God, a Higher Power that can definitely see us through!

But then we continue to ask, “We’ve only got enough for a week’s budget, or for a few days’ food.  What if no help arrives after that?”

God undestands our fears, and He knows that many times, we mistake those fears for a real need.  What’s the difference anyways?  A fear is something that may or may not happen.  A need is something we have to address at the very moment where we are.  So you’ve got a budget for a week’s groceries.  That means God has given you the means to survive today and for the rest of the week as well.  What’s bothering you is not that your current need could not be met, but a future need, a fear that may or may not come into reality.

Let’s take a look at the story of ELIJAH:

Now Elijah, who was from Tishbe in Gilead, told King Ahab, “As surely as the Lord, the God of Israel, lives—the God I serve—there will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word!”

Then the Lord said to Elijah,  “Go to the east and hide by Kerith Brook, near where it enters the Jordan River. Drink from the brook and eat what the ravens bring you, for I have commanded them to bring you food.”

So Elijah did as the Lord told him and camped beside Kerith Brook, east of the Jordan. The ravens brought him bread and meat each morning and evening, and he drank from the brook. But after a while the brook dried up, for there was no rainfall anywhere in the land.

Then the Lord said to Elijah, “Go and live in the village of Zarephath, near the city of Sidon. I have instructed a widow there to feed you.”

1 Kings 17:1-8

Since there was to be no rain for the next few years, God provided for Elijah’s needs by pointing him towards the Kerith Brook.  And when the brook dried up, God instructed him to go to Zarephath, where his needs shall continue to be provided for.

Notice that the brook dried up first!  There was no word beforehand from the Lord saying something like, “Elijah, you shouldn’t worry about your needs.  Look! I’ve found this brook for you.  Sometime soon, this will also dry up, but don’t you worry.  I will then send you to a widow who will feed you.”

There was no assurance like that. In fact, it was only after the brook dried up that God provided for him another way by which to survive.

This is very different from the way we want to be provided for.  We’ve been used to having a lot of surplus in our hands, or some kind of insurance that will see us through in case some unexpected things happen.  If we don’t have a big allowance like that, we become fearful because we don’t know where we’re going to find the things to address our needs.

It isn’t wrong to think logically.  God has indeed given us a mind to plan wisely and to take care of our finances.  What’s wrong is when we LIMIT ourselves to our plans.  And when our plans don’t work one way or the other, we PANIC!  We lose heart, and we forget from where all good things really come from – from GOD.

Our confidence and peace should not be anchored with the material things that can get stolen away from us.  It should be anchored in GOD alone.  That’s God’s point in wanting us to trust Him, to save us from unnecessary worries that give us so much stress and even affects our health.

Let us continue with ELIJAH’s STORY:

So he went to Zarephath. As he arrived at the gates of the village, he saw a widow gathering sticks, and he asked her, “Would you please bring me a little water in a cup?” As she was going to get it, he called to her, “Bring me a bite of bread, too.”

But she said, “I swear by the Lord your God that I don’t have a single piece of bread in the house. And I have only a handful of flour left in the jar and a little cooking oil in the bottom of the jug. I was just gathering a few sticks to cook this last meal, and then my son and I will die.”

But Elijah said to her, “Don’t be afraid! Go ahead and do just what you’ve said, but make a little bread for me first. Then use what’s left to prepare a meal for yourself and your son. For this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: There will always be flour and olive oil left in your containers until the time when the Lord sends rain and the crops grow again!”

So she did as Elijah said, and she and Elijah and her son continued to eat for many days. There was always enough flour and olive oil left in the containers, just as the Lord had promised through Elijah.

1 Kings 17:10-16

The widow only had enough for one last meal!  Note what she said: “I was just gathering a few sticks to cook this last meal, and then my son and I will die.”

The widow thought she and her son were already going to starve to death!  And why not?  All that she had was only enough for ONE LAST MEAL.  But even that doesn’t say that they weren’t being provided for.  They had enough for that meal.  And after using everything she had, it was time for God’s providence to manifest itself: “...she and Elijah and her son continued to eat for many days. There was always enough flour and olive oil left in the containers, just as the Lord had promised through Elijah.”

God provides JUST IN TIME, and not a minute late.  And He provides for ALL our NEEDS, not just for food, for our Father knows everything we lack.

One real concern God is well aware of is our concern for our health.  He knows how much money we need in case any of our loved ones get sick.  He knows how great our fear is, especially when we don’t have enough savings or insurance for it.

In the story of Elijah and the widow, one of our most dreadful fears happened, when a loved ones get sick and we have no money or any kind of means to help them in their sickness:

Some time later the woman’s son became sick. He grew worse and worse, and finally he died. Then she said to Elijah, “O man of God, what have you done to me? Have you come here to point out my sins and kill my son?”

But Elijah replied, “Give me your son.” And he took the child’s body from her arms, carried him up the stairs to the room where he was staying, and laid the body on his bed. Then Elijah cried out to the Lord, “O Lord my God, why have you brought tragedy to this widow who has opened her home to me, causing her son to die?”

And he stretched himself out over the child three times and cried out to the Lord, “O Lord my God, please let this child’s life return to him.” The Lord heard Elijah’s prayer, and the life of the child returned, and he revived! Then Elijah brought him down from the upper room and gave him to his mother. “Look!” he said. “Your son is alive!”

Then the woman told Elijah, “Now I know for sure that you are a man of God, and that the Lord truly speaks through you.”

1 Kings 17:17-24

Indeed, our TRUE ASSURANCE is in GOD, not in material wealth, not even in the imperfect people we often depend upon!

Let’s take a look at what happens when we have all the material wealth we think we need but forget from whom all such gifts came from:

The Parable of the Rich Fool

Then he told them a story: “A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops.  He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’ Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods.  And I’ll sit back and say to myself, “My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!”’

“But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’

“Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.”

-Luke 12:16-21

“So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.” - Luke 12:32