My God, I can no longer recognize the face that I see in the mirror. Where was the radiant bride that stood here merely five years ago? Where was the young woman full of hope, full of love and full of the promises of a brand new life ahead of her?

For the woman who stands here now seems no longer a woman at all. Gone was the light in her eyes that used to be the envy of all. Gone was the blush on her cheeks that used to be caressed with tenderness and love. Those eyes are now swollen from endless tears. Those cheeks are now shadowed by bruises and scars.

I have been transgressed and defiled, and I have allowed it all! I have allowed it for the most cliché reason of all. O how I thought I loved him, but the truth is that I don't even know how to love my own self. How conceited indeed can a woman be? To think that she could change the man who doesn't even want to change himself? Am I a God who can look into the hearts of men and seek the goodness that can be drawn from each one? Even God doesn't force us to change if we wish to be stubborn and go our own sinful ways. Indeed, I am no God, and neither is the man I have worshipped so wrongfully all these years.

My God, help me to see things as they really are, not as I would have it. Help me to forgive myself as you have forgiven me, to love myself as you have loved me. Help me to know what love really is that it may take root in my heart and that it may bear fruit for others to also find their way. I used to think that love is being able to give everything even if it hurts. God it hurt so much! But now I know that love, even if it may hurt sometimes should never be at the expense of self-respect and dignity; love, even if it may entail sacrifice should never be at the expense of being shattered and broken.

For true love, if it is true indeed always brings wholeness and peace, and bears the fruit of goodness upon all who give and receive it. Love is not a matter of control or manipulation. Love is an invitation and a gift that can only be received with openness and a grateful heart. Help me find my way O God, not only for myself but more so for my beloved children. Help me to provide for them not only their material needs, but their emotional and spiritual longings as well.

Truly I have a long way to go and a great many more battles to face, but I dare to begin now God. I begin with your forgiveness and your love. I begin with your providence and healing. Help me through it all O Lord and one day soon, I know I will be able to see that radiant and beautiful bride once again.

This prayer of a battered wife was written by HIYAS at itakeoffthemask.com

My Lord, I’ve been bed-ridden for so long that I could hardly remember the time I’ve been well enough to take a simple walk out of my garden. I’ve been suffering night and day and the pangs of pain seem to get stronger with the passing of each day. I am losing hope of ever getting any better, of being well again.

And my pain only doubles up whenever I see the suffering of my own family. I know how much they miss the person I used to be. I know the troubles they gothrough to put up happy faces infront of me while hiding away their own pain. They don’t want me to worry so they say that everything’s fine. But I know that things are not so fine anymore. Surely by now the house is already mortgaged and the kids are working triple time just so they can pay the loan. Surely by now prospects of a new business project is dim and my wife is pulling herself two ways – attending to me and worrying about our financial distress. I should be the man of the house.

I should be the one taking care of my family. But here am I lying in bed, waiting for my hour when I shall shatter their hearts again just so I can escape from pain. Forgive me God for my waning courage. Forgive me for giving up hope at the time it is needed most.

I come before you almighty Healer. If my time has truly come, let it be so. But I will not give up without a fight. I trust in your goodness and unfailing love. I trust that the miracles you did you still do today and if only you will will it, you can heal me. You can save me and my loved ones from these dark days that have sapped all our laughter and our hope. Touch me O God with your healing power, forgive me of my sins and let me arise from this bed, whole and willing to serve you strongly once again!

Dear God, you had always been there for me, through every trial and every tear, through every victory and through every joy. I couldn’t have made it through without you. I couldn’t have lived a beautiful life were it not for your grace and your love. There is just so much to be thankful for, especially for the people who truly made this life worthwhile. Many of them had already gone, many I do not know where their own journeys led them. But just the same O Lord, I thank you for we have touched one another’s lives. I shall never forget them, and their lives will always be a part of mine.

I do not know my Lord how much longer I shall live but day by day my eyesight sees more poorly, and my knees falter more and more. Once I can easily knock down two men, but now I can hardly climb upstairs without running out of breath. Truly my flesh is failing me and time is running out for all the things I must do. And yet my Lord, my spirit has never felt as young, my soul has never felt so good. For now I can see more clearly the hand that led me through and that continues to lead me on. I know that there is so much more that you have in store for me, more wonders and miracles waiting to unfold. For there shall never be an end to your love and there shall never be a limit to the wisdom and power that makes such love manifest itself in all things.

I continue to entrust myself in your hands. May my remaining days be as beautiful as the ones we’ve spent together. May my remaining nights be as starlit as the ones when you’ve carried me through. And when the time comes when all need be silent and still, when everything need be all as it had begun, let me hear your angels singing, and welcome me O Father in your safe and loving arms.